First check-up

So, tomorrow morning I have my first monthly check-up: a meeting with the consultant followed by a blood test and a bone marrow biopsy. Am really hoping that it's all clear! Although I feel physically better than I have done for a long, long while there's always the thought in the back of the mind that it could come back.

It also turns out that the tough stuff isn't over yet. When I was having treatment I assumed that my illness was just putting my life on hold for a few months and would commence when it was all finished; however, the frustrating thing is that despite how fit and able I am to do things the opportunities aren't there and I find myself kicking my heels around. Possibly the worst thing about the past few months is being so close to death and then not being able to resume living life to the full - even though I'm well enough to do so. I guess that when one starts to appreciate the worth and value of life but isn't given the opportunity to make the most out of it it's like a kick in the teeth. Looking back over my treatment this is the hardest part. At least whilst I was in hospital drugged up I was doing all I was able to - sleep. Now that I'm well it's difficult to still be expected just to sleep, and it's even harder to find people who understand me.
However, I have been doing a few fun things. I went windsurfing at the weekend, and there's nothing quite like bombing around on the water to make you feel alive!
I'll update this again tomorrow with the results of tomorrow's appointment.